Revealing Secrets – 45 Year Old Guy with Trichotillomania & How I Faked Illness & Had Two Operations
So basically, I am now 45 years old and I have had Trichotillomania or as it is most commonly known Trich, since I was around 15 years old. I started self harming and hair pulling as an escape from the misery of being badly bullied by a couple of kids at my High School… I was too scared to stand up for myself or to tell my parents or friends what was happening to me… it was really horrible, and at one stage I ran away and tried to hitch a train ride back home 100 kilometres away… very long story, but I will do a video on it one day. I still pull hairs to this day, but my Trich is nothing compared to what some people do, by pulling out all of their hairs from the head, eye lashes etc
Trichotillomania mainly affects girls and women, it is rare in boys and men.
My Trich sometimes drives me crazy, I can try and pull out one tiny minute hair for up to a week straight for many many many hours… using my tongue to locate the hair, then pulling it out with either my teeth or some swiss army knife tweezers. In regards to locating the hair, it is amazing hour sensitive the tongue is, I can feel the most tiniest hair with my tongue. I also hold my fingers and thumbs up to bright lights to locate the hairs.
If I cannot pull the hair out, that is when I start cutting into my fingers to pull the hair follicle out… it really does get that bad, it is extremely addictive and my fingers and thumbs have the scars to prove it.
Trichotillomania is my way of escaping from stress, worry, traumatic memories of the past and any negative thoughts that I may be experiencing at any given time … most of the time I am not even aware of that I am doing it.
The pain I feel is actually a really good pain.. that is the worst thing about it and that is why Trichotillomania is classed as self harming.
In regards to my two operations I had, well I faked illness basically just to escape the nightmarish bullying I was experiencing, and to get days off school etc and the doctor took advantage of me for the money for the two operations, so it was a win win situation for me and for the doctor.
I faked sickness heaps of times just to get a lot of days off school and some sympathy and attention! I was so sad and lonely and felt as though I had no one to turn to during this awful time.
I had a cyst removed from the side of my neck and a lymph node removed from my groin when I was around 16.
The cyst scar from my neck made the bullying worse, then I was called nasty names like scar neck and Frankenstein …lol funny, but it really hurt…. this bullying affected for from 13 and the scars both physical and mental remain with me to this day… revealing my dark inner secrets helps me heal from these wounds!
I was still pretty popular at school with the boarding school kids and good at all sports etc, but this awful bullying took away all my confidence, my trust and so much more in people… I will never truly heal from these experiences… so please if you face the same or similar form of bullying or harassment… you must stand up for yourself! Or it will and can tear your life apart … for a lifetime!
I really loved the Narrogin Boarding School, I probably had the best mates I had ever had in my life, and I had the biggest crushes on a few girls I ever had… but I was just too scared and shy to tell them for fear of the possible rejection and humiliation … but overall I loved boarding away from home… most of the time… but the actual school sucked! I was just an average student … I completed Year 12 and join the Aussie Army straight away…. I could have done much better education wise had it not been for the horrible bullying I experience as a skinny teenage boy!
Please I ask you to see my other pretty personal videos on the bullying I experienced!
My Teen School Years, 1980’s, Sadistic Teachers & Bullying – My Self Harming – The End Consequences
The Only Boy In Class – My Personal Story – Verbal and Physical Bullying by School Teachers
“Rain From Nowhere” A Beautiful Poem About Depression & Anti-Suicide in Rural Australia
I just want to die – Suicide by Billy – Anti Suicide Message
My Personal Feelings of Depression & Anxiety – Why I Sometimes Disappear
Do You Suffer from Depression? PTSD? Anxiety? Why not consider taking up Metal Detecting!
Wild Bill’s “Mental as Anything” Diaries (Mental Health)
Wild Bill Being Lost in Life & Seeking Wisdom and Answers